Skwisgaar Skwigelf is Dethklok's lead guitarist. Fastest guitar player alive. Despite this talent, he can't read music, which he blames on "music dyslix-kia". He plays a black Gibson Explorer with white pickguard that appears to be waterproof. he practices his guitar constantly and in many odd places, such as in church and in the hot tub. He has been known to even practice while he sleeps.Skwisgaar owns a collection of bizarre exotic
guitars, these include a "Swiss
Army-tar," an "ant farm-itar," the Gibson Excaliburtar, and a
guitar supposedly made of wood from the True Cross. He often asserts that he hates playing acoustic guitars,
which he and Toki both call "Grandspa's guitars." Hailing from Sweden, Skwisagaar possesses a heavy Swdish accent. he has a very poor grasp of the English language, not knowing relatively simple terms such as "image" and "embezzle". He frquintly adds an 's' to the end of many words, and conversely drops the letter from some words that require them, such as "copie" and "Pickles." He was born to the Miss Sweden of 1956, Serveta
Skwigelf, and does not know his father. Senator Stampingston mentions that
"her neglect helped form the world's fastest guitarist," and in an
interview, Skwisgaar claims that his inspiration comes from his hatred of his
mother. He resents her because of her promiscuity, although he takes after her
in this regard. Skwisgaar is referred to as the band's Lothario;
he often brags about his many sexual conquests to Toki (going so far as to make
the claim of having sex with at least 500 women the last time he was in
Finland), who resents it. Skwisgaar is attracted primarily to older women, once
propositioning an elderly grandmother in a grocery store for sex, and a
television announcer mentions his desire for "MILFs, GMILFs, and
soon-to-be-MILFs." Skwisgaar has been in a large number of bands prior to Dethklok, including Agnostic Priest, Gangogar Alidilio, Al Tl El, Gognogmug, Alugdug, Fuck-Face Academy, Sausage Assassin, Finacially Raped, and Smugly Dismissed, to name a few. Othe then that he has claimed to have been in "pretty much every band, ever." He is also allergic to cilantro.
